We live very busy lives with older (but still in the nest) teenagers that just keep our schedules wrecked. Like so many couples, we used to be very free and open around each other. We’d talk about sex often and she looked forward to “hanging out.” But with our schedule these past years, we just haven’t been very connected and certainly haven’t been as open with each other as we used to be.
Feeling like we needed to slow down and talk more, I attempted to ask her questions about her evolved likes and dislikes several times in the past months. Those conversations didn’t go well as she’d tell me she was feeling interrogated, put on the spot, and that she didn’t want to give me an answer for fear that I’d hold her to it.
We’d planned a couple weekend together without kids and I bought these to “play” on the way up. She opened the box, would read the question, and then we’d take turns answering with our points of view. I figured we’d get 10 cards in and she’d find some reason to end the “game.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. We got through the entire deck before we reached our destination. And then she starts saying things like “why didn’t you tell me you felt this way before” and “why didn’t you just ask before.” I was literally perplexed. I looked like the dog trying to figure out the magic trick. I haven’t experienced my wife being this open and talkative about intimacy in YEARS. Some of that was the trip sans kids for sure … but the difference in our conversations once the ice was broken was literally night and day.
Fast forward … I don’t have an answer for why a deck of cards with questions can get folks to talk freely … but this is the single best investment I’ve ever made in my marriage.
Mind. Still. Blown.
Expansion pack please!
